I Almost Gave Up (Already)
It's a pretty predictable story, I'll start a project with a bang, but eventually, momentum fades and I start to wonder if the whole thing was a good idea in the first place. We all love beginnings and endings, but what about the middle?
Middles don't make for good stories. Movies don't show the countless hours of waiting, preparing, traveling, or other mundane steps it takes to get from beginning to end. No one really wants to watch the Avengers sleep, Yoda brush his teeth, or the Ghost Busters team file their taxes. I mean, maybe I'd watch Yoda brush his teeth, but you get the point.
The painstaking middle is where we lose momentum, that's why movies don't show it. Yet, it's there in the quiet, that the act of simply showing up teaches us life's best lessons.
I started this whole demo project as a way to challenge myself creatively. I wanted to push myself to write better lyrics, try new things vocally, and explore the world of synthesizers. Last but not least, I was hoping that this project would help me build real skills as a producer and sound engineer.
So many things to accomplish in one demo project; seemed simple enough though. Right?
THREE DEMOS IN
It was easy to imagine this project going on a nice upward trajectory, but I'm finding it's more like a graph with lots of peaks, valleys, ups, and downs.
So here I am having just completed demo 3, and feeling like the end is much further away than I can bear to wait for. Demo 3 has been the hardest. I thought lots of things like, "This demo project was a stupid idea. I'm a bad songwriter. No one cares if I don't put out a demo this month, except for Chloe, and I feel like she will understand if things change."
I did end up finishing demo 3 (after many attempts of trying to abandon it and the project altogether) but it didn't come out perfectly. I spent so much time rewriting and rearranging, that I didn't have much time for creating a good mix. But I finished, and I must celebrate that accomplishment for what it is.
I wish I had a more triumphant ending for you like, "and it turns out it was my best demo so far and it got over 1,000 plays in the first hour." But, I don't. What I do have is the story of plodding along faithfully to the call of making art. How the very act of creating can be it's own reward. I'm glad I finished this song, and that has to be good enough.
I would love it if you cheered me on, especially as a plod along in the middle of this story. You can do that by writing me a comment on social media, or even just giving the demo a listen and sharing it if you like it.